To Die is to Live Again

'To live is to die a little everyday. But, I love the resurrection part. Death is all the strength I need to rebuild life from scratch.' This thought stuck me recently and made everything clear.

Struggling through life is a norm for most people. We fall flat on our faces and then, like new born calves, try again and again till we are finally able to stand erect supporting our weight on our own two legs. But, it does not end there. Each time we hit a road bump, there we go falling flat on our faces once more.

In my last post, I wrote about famous people who had fallen but, rallied back to great success. This time I want to share the result of my own introspection on failures. 

It is pretty frustrating to fall. I know because, I am constantly slipping and falling both physically as well as in life. However, a very strong realization hit me recently as a result of the critical introspection that I had been doing of my personal and professional failures to understand, 'what was I doing wrong?'

It is an exercise I started last year and today, I am glad to share my understanding because it shattered a few of my own precious myths.

First thing I understood was, 'why?' 

In certain cases I slipped because I was not looking, I was careless. However, these were outnumbered by situations where I fell because I was too focused and too cautious. The learning - 'sometimes it is fine to follow instincts and react - we all have great instincts'.

One thing that shone through this period of introspection was the ability to almost always adapt to and bounce back, no matter how bad the situation. I keep flowing with the tide till my feet find ground once more. This was good news!

In my single-minded determination to pursue goals I fail because I become blind to everything else. It confines my dreams. At times it also makes me selfish and insensitive to other peoples' points of views. It is more often than not, a cause of downfall because I end up working in isolation. Sometimes I even withdraw because I'm worried that others will steal my ideas and at others, I am scared to share because I worry about the butt of joke I'd become if my endeavor fails.

I realize that to win, I need to improvise at every step and seek partnership. There are hardly any achievements that have been won in isolation. Everyone needs a team or at least a partner who has their back.

Sometimes I also lost despite a team/partner because I was not paying enough attention. I was so busy working on my plan that I never knew what was happening around. Sometimes, it pays to be in touch with everyone, to keep a finger on the pulse of those around you. Maybe they are trying to tell you something that would have acted as the missing piece of the jigsaw puzzle or perhaps, they are not looking out for us at all, instead are busy in something else hence, leaving your back unattended. Often, I have been saved from trouble because I was constantly in touch with the team but, sometimes, either due to work pressure or some other reason when I did not, I'd found myself in a situation that pulled me down.

I also learnt that whatever happens, a learner never fails. S/he reinvents and strikes back. This is only possible by keeping our hopes alive and strongly hold on to our faith in self.

The key to success is to believe in your dreams. If I cannot dream I'll cease to exist. In my dreams I am unlimited and unvanquished. I am a winner already! At times it seems outright impossible. This makes me feel helpless, hopeless but, this is when I remember that this is not the end, the end is far from it.

I was recently watching the film, 'The Pursuit of Happyness' starring Will Smith. It is the real life story of a single dad's struggle to care for his 5-year-old and go after a dream that makes him start from scratch, live out of bags, even spend a night in a public toilet but, he does not give up. He despairs but, does not allow it to effect his performance and in doing so, turns over a new leaf in the story of his life and that of his son.

We all need to follow our dreams, whatever they may be, no dream is silly or small. They all have the potential to change our lives and that of those around us. We must hold on to them and improvise whenever we hit a road block. Every time we fail to make our dream a reality we die a little, but, each time we need to brush off that feeling of death and resurrect it in a new blue print. Never stop improvising, never stop adding.

I have bounced back every time and kept my sanity because, I have always lived my dreams. It is what has kept me floating.

This is great story by a life coach that I read today. It simply speaks about a person in deep despair because he'd lost his confidence and had sought out the help of the coach. This is the conversation that took place:

"Mentor: What was the strongest emotion you felt recently and how recent was it?

Person (after an incredulous pause): I was very angry just six hours back when my car was stuck in a jam.

Mentor: So, what happened to that anger? Where did it go in the last six hours after the incident?

Person (after an even longer pause and a smile at the end of it): It's there inside me..."

Yes, it never goes away, your dreams are always alive and right there inside you. Don't you ever forget that. Go make them real!

You are whatever you want to be and no one can steal your dreams unless you give them up without a fight.